Greetings,
When one becomes a Christian, he/she is a child of God and when
a Christian joins a church he/she is considered part of the church
family as well as the family of Christ. Family is definitely a great
thing and that is what forms the body of Christ.
But there seems to be a bad side-effect to this and I have seen
and read about this more and more. The church seems to worship
the family, as if that is what is suppose to make a Christian spiritually
complete. And I have noticed as of late there is among the body of
Christ a marriage mandate movement which not only stresses marriage
but at the same time marginalizes singles, or even worse condemns them.
As a single Christian man that disturbs me because as believers we are
called to serve and worship God regardless of our marital status. Was not
Jesus Himself a bachelor? I have had many thoughts on these marriage
mandaters and I could name the names of two that I have read about but
I won't mention names lest I make it sound as if they are my enemies.
Now before I go any further on this I am no more anti-marriage nor anti-
family any more than I am pro-bachelor, even though I am a bachelor
myself at the age of 51. But I think the family values thing is getting
overrated. I believe so if they start getting critical of singles, especially
single men.
I had found the church of which I currently attend in late 2003 and
became a member a few months later. I am also the church's soul
greeter. Now when attending I noticed the church congregation was
made up of mostly families and that there were few singles. If I
remember correctly there were at least four or five there when I first
went to the church I attend with me counted among them. But they
were either divorced or widowed, they weren't never-married like
I was (and still am). As much as I liked the church for how it believed
I was for awhile somwhat leery of it. But more on my church later.
I came across a pamphlet one time by a certain marriage mandate
speaker and he stated that marriage and fatherhood were the highest
callings for a Christian men and that it should be the goal of every
Christian man to become a husband and father. Hmmmm_ Really?
In one certain blog I came across a link and when clicking on to this
link I came across an interesting topic which quoted a well-known
female Christian speaker. It went something like this: "Everywhere
my husband and I go we see lovely, well-dressed, Christian women
who are deeply spiritual, thoroughly feminine, and single. They long
for marriage and to have children. But what is it with the men? When
are the men going to go through the process of courting and winning
a wife according to God's command to be fruitful and multiply."
I'd go on with the rest of what she said but she ended with stating
that she didn't regard lightly men who were called to be single, she
claimed God called most men to marry and those that didn't were
disobeying Him. Wow! That's a pretty serious accusation to make
against Christian men, accusing them of being disobedient to God.
I thought that remark was way out of line. I remember she
quoted the verse, "Be fruitful and multiply." Yes.
Yes, God did give the command to be fruitful and multiply, but
that is Old Testament scripture which is found in the book of
Genesis. God gave that command to Adam and the Old Testament
patriarchs in order to populate the earth and to form the nation of
Israel, God's chosen people. The command to be fruitful and multiply
is nowhere in the New Testament. I believe the marriage mandaters
push marriage in the body of Christ in order to produce more Christians
or "Godly seed" as it is called. Hmmmmm_? Produce Godly seed, eh?
Well now if I remember, the way Godly seed is produced is when one
accepts Jesus as his Savior in which he becomes born-again. I don't recall
Godly seed being produced by physical birth just because one comes from
Christian parents. Uh-Uh. And here is something else that is noteworthy,
just because a child comes from a Christian home is no guarantee that
he is going to give his life to the Lord. You can throw Proverbs 22:6 at
me but that still is no guarantee.
Now good Christian parents should train a child in the way he should go
and the children of my church are prime examples of that. I definitely
cosider them a breed apart and the parents and families overall have
earned my utmost respect and admiration for that. But the harsh reality
is that it is still no guarantee they will walk worthy in the Lord although I
will say they do have a very good chance of that when exposed to the Word
at an early age. Parents need to pray for their children as well. Maybe we
all should pray for their children. I think I need to as well.
Being born-again produces Godly seed.
The other problem with family-oriented congregations is that churches can
get so wrapped upo in being one big happy family that they forget what
church is really all about, and that is to make disciples of Christ and to tell all
the world about Him. But if a congregation focuses on making each other
comfortable, isn't that kind of like choking the Word? Usually in making one
comfortable you don't want to offend them and often times the word of God
can be offensive. But sugar-coating the Word of God is choking the Word of
God because the truth helps us grow. (No one understands that more than me)
but a happy family does not want to be offended. To be blunt, a church which
gets too wrapped up in family is more like one big, happy clique. What about
those weak in the Word who need guidance? Has the church lost its first love?
There was a book on Christian singleness which I bought in the late 1990s
and it told of a story of a single man looking for a church and upon entering this
one church he was asked if he was single and BOOM! They knew right where to
send him and he did not want to go there. He claimed they made him feel like
part of a database, not a member of the body of Christ, go figure. It sounds as
if this church compartmentalized singles. That is sad.
Something is wrong with a church that sees single adults as misfits or has no
place in the body for unmarried folks. Because they are few single people in
churches and more families, families get priority as far as needs go. And most
married people cannot relate to singles and they are at best tolerated.
Married or single, we as Christians have one thing in common, we have Christ
as our Savior and singles can be as much used for God as families can. Stop
forming cliques and treat your single brothers with the same love as married
people. Stop focusing on the nuclear family as the fundamental building block
of a godly civilization. When one accepts Christ he is given a name better than
sons and daughters. Single guys can be spiritual "dads" to those "Babes" in
Christ (new converts). There IS a place for singles in the church, contrary to
the opinion of marriage mandaters.
Now I will end on a happy note. My church while small in size and yes does
consist of mostly families, has accepted me as part of the church family
despite my singleness and there has been no pressure from anyone in
particular for me to pair up. The folks are as kind to me as they are to
families and I have been named Family of the Week a few weeks ago in
the church bulletin, and I am one person. I am considered family because
I am a member of the body of Christ, not because I am married with
children.
Thank you for reading and God bless.
Modelautoman
P.S. To those of my church who follow this blog, any negative remarks
made about church or family was not about our church, it was churches
in general. It was no church in particular. Thank you and God bless.
When one becomes a Christian, he/she is a child of God and when
a Christian joins a church he/she is considered part of the church
family as well as the family of Christ. Family is definitely a great
thing and that is what forms the body of Christ.
But there seems to be a bad side-effect to this and I have seen
and read about this more and more. The church seems to worship
the family, as if that is what is suppose to make a Christian spiritually
complete. And I have noticed as of late there is among the body of
Christ a marriage mandate movement which not only stresses marriage
but at the same time marginalizes singles, or even worse condemns them.
As a single Christian man that disturbs me because as believers we are
called to serve and worship God regardless of our marital status. Was not
Jesus Himself a bachelor? I have had many thoughts on these marriage
mandaters and I could name the names of two that I have read about but
I won't mention names lest I make it sound as if they are my enemies.
Now before I go any further on this I am no more anti-marriage nor anti-
family any more than I am pro-bachelor, even though I am a bachelor
myself at the age of 51. But I think the family values thing is getting
overrated. I believe so if they start getting critical of singles, especially
single men.
I had found the church of which I currently attend in late 2003 and
became a member a few months later. I am also the church's soul
greeter. Now when attending I noticed the church congregation was
made up of mostly families and that there were few singles. If I
remember correctly there were at least four or five there when I first
went to the church I attend with me counted among them. But they
were either divorced or widowed, they weren't never-married like
I was (and still am). As much as I liked the church for how it believed
I was for awhile somwhat leery of it. But more on my church later.
I came across a pamphlet one time by a certain marriage mandate
speaker and he stated that marriage and fatherhood were the highest
callings for a Christian men and that it should be the goal of every
Christian man to become a husband and father. Hmmmm_ Really?
In one certain blog I came across a link and when clicking on to this
link I came across an interesting topic which quoted a well-known
female Christian speaker. It went something like this: "Everywhere
my husband and I go we see lovely, well-dressed, Christian women
who are deeply spiritual, thoroughly feminine, and single. They long
for marriage and to have children. But what is it with the men? When
are the men going to go through the process of courting and winning
a wife according to God's command to be fruitful and multiply."
I'd go on with the rest of what she said but she ended with stating
that she didn't regard lightly men who were called to be single, she
claimed God called most men to marry and those that didn't were
disobeying Him. Wow! That's a pretty serious accusation to make
against Christian men, accusing them of being disobedient to God.
I thought that remark was way out of line. I remember she
quoted the verse, "Be fruitful and multiply." Yes.
Yes, God did give the command to be fruitful and multiply, but
that is Old Testament scripture which is found in the book of
Genesis. God gave that command to Adam and the Old Testament
patriarchs in order to populate the earth and to form the nation of
Israel, God's chosen people. The command to be fruitful and multiply
is nowhere in the New Testament. I believe the marriage mandaters
push marriage in the body of Christ in order to produce more Christians
or "Godly seed" as it is called. Hmmmmm_? Produce Godly seed, eh?
Well now if I remember, the way Godly seed is produced is when one
accepts Jesus as his Savior in which he becomes born-again. I don't recall
Godly seed being produced by physical birth just because one comes from
Christian parents. Uh-Uh. And here is something else that is noteworthy,
just because a child comes from a Christian home is no guarantee that
he is going to give his life to the Lord. You can throw Proverbs 22:6 at
me but that still is no guarantee.
Now good Christian parents should train a child in the way he should go
and the children of my church are prime examples of that. I definitely
cosider them a breed apart and the parents and families overall have
earned my utmost respect and admiration for that. But the harsh reality
is that it is still no guarantee they will walk worthy in the Lord although I
will say they do have a very good chance of that when exposed to the Word
at an early age. Parents need to pray for their children as well. Maybe we
all should pray for their children. I think I need to as well.
Being born-again produces Godly seed.
The other problem with family-oriented congregations is that churches can
get so wrapped upo in being one big happy family that they forget what
church is really all about, and that is to make disciples of Christ and to tell all
the world about Him. But if a congregation focuses on making each other
comfortable, isn't that kind of like choking the Word? Usually in making one
comfortable you don't want to offend them and often times the word of God
can be offensive. But sugar-coating the Word of God is choking the Word of
God because the truth helps us grow. (No one understands that more than me)
but a happy family does not want to be offended. To be blunt, a church which
gets too wrapped up in family is more like one big, happy clique. What about
those weak in the Word who need guidance? Has the church lost its first love?
There was a book on Christian singleness which I bought in the late 1990s
and it told of a story of a single man looking for a church and upon entering this
one church he was asked if he was single and BOOM! They knew right where to
send him and he did not want to go there. He claimed they made him feel like
part of a database, not a member of the body of Christ, go figure. It sounds as
if this church compartmentalized singles. That is sad.
Something is wrong with a church that sees single adults as misfits or has no
place in the body for unmarried folks. Because they are few single people in
churches and more families, families get priority as far as needs go. And most
married people cannot relate to singles and they are at best tolerated.
Married or single, we as Christians have one thing in common, we have Christ
as our Savior and singles can be as much used for God as families can. Stop
forming cliques and treat your single brothers with the same love as married
people. Stop focusing on the nuclear family as the fundamental building block
of a godly civilization. When one accepts Christ he is given a name better than
sons and daughters. Single guys can be spiritual "dads" to those "Babes" in
Christ (new converts). There IS a place for singles in the church, contrary to
the opinion of marriage mandaters.
Now I will end on a happy note. My church while small in size and yes does
consist of mostly families, has accepted me as part of the church family
despite my singleness and there has been no pressure from anyone in
particular for me to pair up. The folks are as kind to me as they are to
families and I have been named Family of the Week a few weeks ago in
the church bulletin, and I am one person. I am considered family because
I am a member of the body of Christ, not because I am married with
children.
Thank you for reading and God bless.
Modelautoman
P.S. To those of my church who follow this blog, any negative remarks
made about church or family was not about our church, it was churches
in general. It was no church in particular. Thank you and God bless.
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